(They’ve been silent long enough.)
☀️ Morning Shift: The Breakfast Rush
“Good morning! You’ve had your coffee. Guess who gets to meet it next? Me.
By 9 a.m. I’ve handled:
-
Three kids flushing more TP than is legally allowed
-
One dad who thinks I’m a trash can
-
A toddler who tried to baptize a sock”
Pro tip: I am not your family filing cabinet. Use me wisely.
???? Afternoon Grind: The Silent Struggle
“While you’re at work, I sit here stewing. Literally. That drip you ignore? Yeah, I’m leaking into the bowl 24/7. Thousands of gallons. I could water a golf course by now.”
???? Night Shift: Revenge Time
“Midnight. You’re cozy in bed. Then you hear it. GURGLE. That’s me, your toilet, sending you a little ghost story. If I’m phantom flushing, it’s not a ghost. It’s a bad flapper and you’re paying for it.”
???? Tip of the Week – The Shower Check
Flush your toilet while someone’s in the shower.
-
If the water goes scalding hot or icy cold, that’s not your house being “quirky.”
-
It’s a failing pressure-balancing valve.
-
Easy fix now, but left alone it can mean dangerous surprises later.
???? Luxe Pure – Even Toilets Hate Hard Water
Toilets don’t complain much. But trust me, I hate the rings.
Your shower hates the spots. Your coffee maker hates the buildup.
Hard water is slowly ruining everything.
???? Get a free water test from Luxe Pure and see what your pipes (and your skin) are dealing with.
We’ll install the fix: softeners, filtration, reverse osmosis. The works.
???? luxepurewater.com
???? Maintenance Minute – A Toilet’s Wishlist
✅ A new flapper every few years
✅ No “flushable” wipes, socks, or action figures
✅ A plunger nearby (but hopefully not needed often)
✅ A little respect — I’m porcelain, not steel
???? Leaky Laugh of the Week
Q: Why did the toilet join a band?
A: It wanted to play in the flush section.
???? Weird Thing We Found This Week:
This week’s highlight: a Barbie leg. Don’t ask me how. Don’t ask me why. All I know is, she’s not coming back from this adventure.
???? Flushin’ Friday Challenge – Win Some Swag
We’ve seen it all — Barbie legs, potatoes, socks, even chicken nuggets.
But now it’s your turn.
???? Reply to this email with your funniest or worst plumbing fail story.
-
Did your kid flush something insane?
-
Did you try a DIY hack that went very, very wrong?
-
Did your toilet betray you at the worst possible time?
We’ll pick the funniest reply and hook you up with a prize:
???? A One Call Plumbing t-shirt (perfect for plunging in style)
???? Or a discount code on your next service call
???? One Call Corner – Throne Care Package
Your toilet has been overworked. Give it a spa day.
✔️ Leak checks
✔️ Drain clearing
✔️ Flapper and seal replacements
✔️ No-judgment rescues from Barbie, potatoes, or socks
???? 480-663-2255
???? azplumbers.com
???? Promo Code: THRONECARE10 — 10% OFF Toilet related service calls this week
Thanks for reading. Same time next week? We’ll bring the puns. You bring the plumbing problems.
– The One Call Plumbing Team
???? 480-663-2255 | ???? azplumbers.com